The Shepherd and the Stone

In that moment, all the things I had said and done my whole life, felt like a mistake.  My mind reeled with memories from my past: I hurt this person, and this person, and sought my own gain here!  My motivations in this instance were not godly! I can’t believe I allowed myself to say that to him!  I can’t believe I did that to her!  I ruined lives.  Remember, remember all of these horrible things you’ve done! Remember!  Remember so you NEVER do this again!  You must always think of these things, so you don’t fall into a trap! Left, right, left right, went the thoughts frantically in my brain.  I cried out in anguish and grabbed a hand-sized stone that was resting in the sand in front of me.  Suddenly, I saw a large shadow on the ground where I’d picked up the stone.  I looked up.  There He was.  That beautiful man on the cross…whole, healed, and looking at me.  He knelt down, meeting me at my level.  The compassion in His eyes was so deep I could barely stand it.  He reached out and held my face in His hands.  “My daughter,” He said as I sobbed.  “Where are your accusers?”  Confused, I looked around and replied, “Nowhere, LORD.”  He motioned with His eyes to something above my head.  In my grief and hopelessness, I didn’t realize that I had been holding the stone I had picked up over myself, ready to throw it down, hard, on my own head.  Stunned, I looked at Him.  Knowingly, He gave me a nod, slowly lowered my arm to the ground, and removed the stone.  “I do not condemn you,” He said.  With those words, I fell into His arms and cried my heart out.  All the while, He held me firmly, and stroked the back of My head.  “Fear not…I have called you by name and You are Mine.  I have given you My Spirit to lead you into all truth, so You don’t have to lead yourself.  I am Your Shepherd.”  I pulled away for just a moment to look into His face.  He nodded again affirming that He had not said those words aloud but into my heart.  There it was…His very own Voice speaking inside me.  A sense of calm and gratefulness overwhelmed me.  I fell into His arms once again, this time sobbing with joy.